"People come and go" – it’s a phrase we hear often, and while it can feel daunting at times, if you step back and think about it, there’s something beautiful in the idea.

Friendships in your early 20s represent a massive shift, and understanding how these friendships change is crucial.

When you were younger, life revolved around school and friends. You lived in that little bubble where everything was organised around your friendships. Your friends were in the same school, the same class, the same clubs. You celebrated the same birthdays and milestones, and lived in the same neighbourhood.

But as you hit your 20s, that bubble pops. Suddenly, you’re not surrounded by the same group of friends. You’re not living in the same neighbourhood or celebrating the same milestones. Some of your friends move to different cities, while others follow different paths, with different timelines. You don’t share the same goals like you did back in school anymore.

Social media is often the only thing that keeps those friendships connected, but even that starts to fade. Texts become quieter as we start focusing more on the people in front of us.

In your 20s, it’s important to let go of the idea of long-lasting friendships. Instead, accept that people come and go. You have to be more proactive and flexible—seek people out, and don’t just expect them to come to you.

Understanding that people coming and going isn’t personal is key. It doesn’t mean you’ve lost a friend. Friendships change as we grow, from when you were younger to now in your 20s.

Proximity used to be the foundation for friendship when you were a kid. You were always surrounded by people, physically close by, in the same classes or living nearby. Being friends with someone who lived next door or across the street was common because proximity made it easier to connect.

In your 20s, proximity looks different. You might be sitting next to your colleague at work every day, but your timelines are all different. Some people are getting married, others are changing jobs, and many are in entirely different life stages. The people you work with are no longer on the same path you were when you were younger. On weekends, some people want to be with family while others go out with friends their age.

Another important factor in building friendships is energy. As we grow older, our energy shifts. We focus on different things—new jobs, new hobbies and as a result, our energy changes too. And that can affect our friendships.

But here’s the thing: people coming and going is actually a beautiful part of life. It’s part of the ebb and flow, and it’s okay to let people be a part of your life for a season. Embrace the changes.